Maybe you never committed a crime, never lied to somebody's face or got into a physical altercation. Nope, not you. You're just a decent, ordinary citizen, here to enjoy some light entertainment.

Well, the people in this story aren't like you. They talk different, they act different, and they make decisions you'd probably think are crazy. But remember: These people have seen things and lived through things that wouldn't be polite to bring up at one of your cocktail parties.

So don't judge too quickly.

The art you see in here was done by an unemployed cartoonist named Kevin Loomis, who got mixed up with some of the nice folks I was just telling you about. He drew everything on cocktail napkins, mostly while he was blasted out of his gourd in a bar in the East Village.

Go ahead now and put on your pajamas and your special socks, maybe get yourself a blanket and